College Drop-Out: Why I’m At Peace

Our society has made it commonplace to run off to college the fall after graduating from high school. All the adults in your life seem to lecture you about the importance of college and give you a list of reasons why you shouldn’t take a gap year between high school and college. There’s so much pressure from family, teachers, and even strangers who don’t even know you. It’s easy to crack and believe that you need to go to college.

Everyone stressed the importance of exploring my options so between my junior and senior years of high school, I looked into all possible options including a gap year. I found so many opportunities to adventure the world and even participate in medical mission trips. This kind of experience would have made my college applications stand out so much more than just my grades and involvement in sports and activities. I could only see the good that could result from a year away from school in the real world.

I was a great student growing up. I always had more A’s than B’s and never anything below. I was focused, hardworking, and driven. I viewed myself as destined for medical school and thought I was the perfect candidate – I was involved, had good grades, and had the determination. Even though I was a great student, I felt as if I needed to take the time away from school.

Traveling for a year is too eccentric. You’ll get lost or sick. You’ll never go back to school. You’re already going to be in school forever, why would you want to make it longer? 

Everyone convinced me that taking a year off would be detrimental to my end goal. So I went to college. During my senior year, I set up a scheme. I was going to do anything and everything I could to make sure I ended up Dr. Arianna. I declared a biology major and put myself in the pre-med track. I followed more pre-med and medical students on social media platforms. I was in high school and preparing to study for the MCAT.

I’m so prepared. I’m going to be on top in college. I’ll be an even better student than I am right now.

Fast forward to the middle of December that year – reality backhanded me with my first C, ever. Everyone struggles in college at first, it’s totally normal. That winter break, I made a plan for myself. I was going to come back better and stronger than ever. I overloaded myself between classes, working, forcing myself to study longer than my attention span, and trying to give my all to my sorority with my new positions. For a second semester in a row, I had a class that I just didn’t understand all that well. It showed on my transcript with yet another C.

I went from a student with consistent A’s and a few B’s to a student who was struggling to make straight B’s. What happened in my transition from high school to college?

I wan’t ready. I joined a sorority and other groups on campus to make my resume stand out for medical school applications. I spent more time in the library than I did in my dorm room or my apartment. In high school, I didn’t worry because I knew I’d be accepted to college. When I got to college and began to struggle, the future wasn’t so certain anymore. I didn’t have the amazing stats anymore. I overworked myself more than a 19 or a 20 year old should be.

I developed anxiety – it was there every time I turned in an assignment and when I took a quiz or a test. I was doing my absolute best in school but I knew it wouldn’t be good enough to get accepted to medical school. Even if I managed to get accepted, I knew the coursework would be even worse than the material I was learning in college. I was so focused on the future that I didn’t love myself in the present. I fell into a depression every semester that I saw all of my classmates perform better than me.

I was not okay.

I made it through two and a half years – five semesters (and a couple weeks of the sixth semester) before I simply couldn’t do it anymore. At the rate I was going during the first couple weeks of that sixth semester, I knew I was going to get a D or lower in my first five-week long class. I already had not one but two D’s on my transcript and I wouldn’t accept anymore. I knew my mental health was failing at an alarmingly fast rate and I just could not take the pressure anymore. So I looked into my options and I withdrew.

I received so many concerning looks and comments from family and friends when I informed them of my decision. I decided to give up on the biggest dream I had since the days when my Olympic dream was still alive. Even when I explained myself, no one else seemed to understand my decision. The only thing that everyone else saw was that I was going into the real world with nothing but limited experience and my high school diploma.

If everything would have went according to my original plan, I would be preparing for my last undergraduate semester instead of writing this blog. I would have graduated in May and spent the summer preparing for the big move to medical school. But that isn’t my reality and it isn’t my dream anymore.

I wanted to be a doctor for the patients, to be the reason they aren’t sick or injured anymore. I wanted to be a doctor so I could prevent a family from feeling so lost and hurt like mine when we lost my uncle to cancer. I wanted to be a doctor to be that source of hope when things got bad. I had all of the right intentions. I wasn’t in it for the money because I knew I would have somewhere between a quarter and half of a million dollars in debt by the time ‘doctor’ actually preceded my name.

I still don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life and that’s okay. I think our generation as millennials are changing the stigma. We’re making it acceptable to explore our interests for jumping straight into college. We’re normalizing the idea of having more than one job for your entire life. College is most definitely not for everyone but so many people leave or flunk out because society forces us to go.

If you’re in high school wondering whether you should go to college or take time off, do what you believe is best for YOU. Surely listen to what other people have to say, but DO NOT let it affect your gut feeling. Please trust your instinct. If there’s one major thing I’ve ever learned from my parents, it’s the fact that you are the only person who has to live with your decisions.

You are the creator of your own happiness. Ensure that you put out positive vibrations in order to attract your own positivity and happiness.

2018 Goal Digger

For me, 2017 was a never-ending roller coaster. My depression and anxiety got the best of me, which was one of the top three reasons I decided to drop out of college. I struggled for at least the first six or seven months of 2017 before my mental health stabilized. I was willing to try anything, even medication, but that’s not what truly helped me. What helped the most was deciding that I needed to make decisions for myself and not anyone else, not even my parents.

I started to enjoy my life a lot more towards the end of 2017. I decided that I needed to focus on myself and my hobbies before I decide to go back to college. I don’t want to be that person that changes their major 10+ times and goes to college forever. I’ve done a lot more reading and I even started this blog as a way to explore my love of writing! Not only did I start enjoying my favorite past times, but I enrolled in a phlebotomy class at my local community college. This seemed like a great next step into the professional world because I’m already working in my hospital’s laboratory office. I love the class and my clinical way more than I ever thought I would! It’s so much fun actually being able to interact with the patients instead of being glued to a single computer all day long.

I may have started to find myself in 2017, but I want to make sure I continue that into 2018. I’ve done a lot of self-exploration in the last few months and it has definitely impacted the list of things that I want to focus on this year. I am sharing my goals and hopes for this year in order to keep myself accountable!

22 Topics for 22 Years

I absolutely love watching YouTube videos and reading blog posts about what people learned in a year. I decided to bring this own idea to my blog because I turned 22 earlier this month and it’s time for New Years!

1. Holidays aren’t about the gifts. Of corse we love the presents when we’re young but I would much rather spend quality time with family and friends than to just sit and open a bunch of gifts.
2. Trust the process. It might be applying for a job or university or maybe even joining Greek life. No matter what, you should have faith in the path to that destination. Everything eventually works out the way it is supposed to be.
3. Take pride in everything you do. Once I got to college, I was always extremely anxious about my grades because I didn’t feel that my results mirrored the hard work I put in. Eventually, I withdrew from university and felt so ashamed until I felt the peace in my happiness. I’m proud I hit the pause button on something I wasn’t entirely confident about anymore.
4. Learn something new each day. It can be a word in a new language, how to make a new recipe, or a new skill. Lately, I’ve been learning a lot about the karmic laws, chakras, and veganism. These topics are all so interesting and I suggest reading about them if you’ve never heard of them or if you don’t actually know what they are. These ideas have already shifted my paradigm and it’s only been a couple weeks.
5. Coconut oil is a gift from the higher power. I first used it as a replacement for other cooking oils but I’ve started to use it as a moisturizer and I have no regrets. I use much less product when I use coconut oil compared to lotions and facial moisturizers. I’ve heard it does wonders for hair if used as an overnight hair mask so that’s next on my list!
6. Live outside your comfort zone. I recently moved to the middle of nowhere and I honestly thought I was going to hate it for being so far away from civilization. Instead, I have felt more peaceful than I have in a long time.
7. Appreciate the little things in your life. I tell everyone that I hate winter, but I am so happy to come from a place where I’ve experienced all four seasons. I have a 50 minute commute to work, but I have begun to appreciate the time I have to myself within that commute.
8. Traveling is the best way to learn. As much as I have enjoyed school, I hate everything that the school system stands for. Schools focus on teaching to the standardized tests instead of making sure that each student actually learns the information. Schools also seem to forget that not every student learns the same. You can learn to be a better human by experiencing other places and cultures.
9. You don’t know who your true friends are until you hit a rough patch. I thought I was close to a group of people in college but when I stepped out of my comfort zone to do something for myself, they did nothing but degrade me.
10. Take time to yourself everyday. I am the type of person to put everyone else’s wants/needs in front of my own. A lot of my anxiety and depression has acted up at various times of my life for this exact reason. I find that I have much better days when I make sure I get some alone time.
11. Be the energy you wish to attract. I’ve been watching videos on the law of attraction for about a month now and I find it so incredibly interesting. I have tried to start incorporating it into my life but I’m still learning about it almost every single day.
12. Read. I try to read every single day. Most times it’s just blog posts but I also read articles shared on Facebook often too. When I read books, it feels like I am transported into a completely different place and/or time. It’s such a lovely way to relax.
13. Focusing on the positives make the negatives easier to deal with. Once I got to college and the heaps of stress hit me, I could only focus on the things that needed done. These were always the things that ended up making me miserable but since then I’ve learned how to control my emotions a lot better. I feel much more at ease when I can just sit back and imagine all the things that could go right in my life instead of everything that could go wrong.
14. Get into your dream field as soon as you can. I was majoring in biology with a concentration in medical technology. My end goal was to use that degree as a stepping stone before PA or medical school. I received a job in the local hospital lab as a processor and it helped me to realize that I didn’t want to be stuck in the lab forever but I wanted a medical career that wasn’t so focused on paperwork. I’m still not sure what I want to go back to school for but I know that the right thing will eventually come into my life.
15. Make strong connections with the people around you. We all have those people from high school that we were only friends with because we had all of our classes together. Instead of keeping these superficial relationships up, put more time into the friendships and relationships that actually mean something. Put time into the people who put their time into you. Don’t waste your time with people who don’t care when something actually happens.
16. Keep your mind open. I was raised in a small town with a plethora of small-minded beliefs. Instead of holding these beliefs up, I have challenged them and started to find the person that I truly am. It’s no fun to limit yourself simply because “that’s not how it’s always been.” Change is real and important. Make sure you’re ready to accept it into your life and you’ll be a better person in the end!
17. It’s okay to not have an answer to every question. My time in school had conditioned me to make sure I knew the answer to every question. It wasn’t until I got my job in the hospital lab that I realized there are so many more questions in the world than I have answers. It’s okay to not know something because it gives you the opportunity to learn something new!
18. Don’t judge people by your very first impression of them. People say you make your assumptions on individuals in the first 10 or 12 seconds, but I’ve learned that those judgments aren’t always accurate. There are so many people that I’ve met who I liked when I first met them because they put up a good front, but I didn’t like them after I actually got to know them. There are also plenty of people that I didn’t like when I first met them, but then they turned out to be some of my greatest friends. You never know until you actually try to get to know someone.
19. You never think something will happen to you…until it does. This goes for anything. When I was in high school, all of my teachers said that we would all change our major at least once or twice. I stuck by the idea that I was so in love with what I wanted to be that I wouldn’t change my major. It turns out that I don’t know what I want to do with my life and I’ve thought of so many different possibilities. I never thought I would be the person to drop out of college, but I did and I’m proud of that decision.
20. Your lowest points turn you into the strongest version of yourself. Every time I think I hit a new low, something else comes my way to show me that I am so much stronger than I believed. It’s hard to believe in yourself when you feel you’re at an all time low, but focus on the positives and everything will be okay in time.
21. Maintain your personal hygiene! After working in multiple customer service positions, I’ve noticed that personal hygiene is a big issue for me. I know we don’t all have the same means, but it’s so important to take care of yourself. We only get one life on this planet, make sure you treat yourself instead of tearing yourself down!
22. Take care of our planet. Earth is so beautiful, majestic, and caring. We as humans take advantage of our planet and we need to start caring about the environment around us. What we do has such a big impact on the future generations and I think we all need to contribute in a way that fosters growth of the planet!

I know this was a lot longer than my previous posts but I think these are all good points that we need to live by. If you’ve written a similar post or made a video with the same concept, comment a link! I love these types of posts because everyone thinks a different set of things are important and/or helpful. I hope you all have a safe and wonderful beginning to the new year.

Bring on the good vibes in 2018!

Why Everyone Should Do A Social Media Cleanse

Being a millennial means so many different things. I always thought it was such a negative thing but I’ve recently started to realize that we are going to be the generation that changes the world.

So many influencers on social media outlets like YouTube and Instagram are hopping on the minimalism train. It’s such an interesting idea because it focuses on downsizing the physical belongings and increasing the experiences in your life.

We spend so much time on social media that we forget it’s a big reason why we might be struggling in their areas of life, but especially with our mental health. It’s so important to stop following the people who don’t inspire you or motivate you to be a better person.

I kept this in mind when I did my own social media cleanse and I ended up unfollowing over 250 people. A few of these accounts were friends that had created a new account since we all joined Instagram in high school. But a lot of them were people that I’m just not friends with anymore or people that I’m not on good terms with anymore. For awhile, I wanted to keep following them just to check up on them every now and then. But I recently noticed that I was just getting annoyed any time I saw their posts on my feed.

When you do the social media cleanse, unfollow someone if:

• Their posts genuinely do not interest or excite you
• You find yourself getting annoyed or upset every time you see their posts
• They only have negative posts
• Their posts don’t have any value to you

These people may end up unfollowing you and that is more than okay. You should always focus on the relationship you have with the people behind the account instead of keeping them around to keep your follow count up.

In the age of social media, it’s so incredibly important to forget about the numbers and focus on the quality of the people in your life. Even if people are only part of your life on social media, you should remove them if they aren’t helping you on your journey of success and fulfillment. It’s a tough concept to keep in mind and especially to implement, but it’s so helpful and peaceful when you do it.

With love,

Arianna

All photos used came from Pexels.

October Favorites

At the end of September, I got a chance to sign up for Youtube Red for free for three months. I honestly did not expect to like it. However, it is really nice to be able to download various playlists and listen to them in the car rather than listening to music. Since I’ve surprisingly used this membership a lot, I decided to share my favorite Youtube channels and what I like best about each one!

Cammie Scott – I started watching her videos in a time where I wasn’t very sure about myself at all. I honestly believe she’s one of the most popular LGBT personalities on Youtube and I’m so proud of how far she’s come since I started watching her videos. She has plenty of videos about the LGBT community, being a vegan, and even beauty videos. I absolutely love that she doesn’t put the same types of videos out every week. There are plenty of Youtubers who put out haul after haul and vlog after vlog, but Cammie tends to change it up every time. It’s very rare to see her put out two of the same type of video right after one another. Even though she’s a Youtuber and she puts her life out into the open for the world to see, she’s still such a candid person. When she went through a breakup with her ex-girlfriend, they put out a video talking about the breakup and where they wanted to go from there. Even just six months ago, she put out a video as an apology for believing all of the criticism that people threw her way and how it affected her and her videos. Watching her videos honestly feels like watching a friend because she’s so real and so candid. It’s something I treasure so much because so many people on Youtube don’t seem to care as much as Cammie truly does care about her fans and followers. She has been one of my absolute favorites for the longest time and I would recommend her channel (and now corresponding blog) to anyone!

Jordan Lipscombe – I stumbled upon her channel at the very beginning of October when I started watching more beauty Youtubers again. Not only does she have a ton of makeup/hair tutorials that are perfect for my hair length, she has a ton of clothing style videos. Instead of doing haul after haul like most Youtubers and just simply holding the pieces up, she actually tries them on in front of the camera. My absolute favorite part of her channel is that she always shows how she styles the new additions to her wardrobe and she’s even put out videos with tips on finding/developing your own style. Even though she’s been able to multiple hauls in a fairly quick amount of time, she doesn’t seem to flash it in front of everyone’s face like a lot of other beauty Youtubers do. She always makes her videos feel so friendly and I would definitely recommend her channel to anyone looking for a quality tutorial or even just a cute little chit chat video.

Keaton Milburn – I found her channel when I had been missing my chapter and wishing I could have been experiencing recruitment with my favorite people again. Even though she joined Greek life at a major school and I joined at a small state school, it was so interesting to see the differences and even some of the similarities. I absolutely love her videos where she sits down and talks because it feels like I’m talking to one of my best friends on the phone. I also love that she tends to change up her videos as well. She really mixes it up with the various Get Ready With Me videos, the tutorials, the hauls, the chit chatting videos, the vlogs, the styling videos, and so much more! Most of the people who are considered beauty Youtubers don’t really change up their videos at all. It’s constant tutorial after haul after tutorial after haul. It’s so nice to see new videos every week that aren’t the same as so many previous videos! If you’re looking for a Youtube channel that really shows you all aspects of life and school, then Keaton’s channel is what you’re looking for!

Lavendaire – I found her channel when I discovered the journaling and self-exploration section of Youtube. She has tons of videos on journaling, self-care and self-discovery, monthly favorites, advice, and how to live a healthy life. I absolutely love how her channel is focused on her followers, rather than herself. So many Youtubers are focused on themselves and their lives rather than helping their followers to live their best life that they can live. She does share her life and story, but a heavy majority of her videos are focused on discovering yourself and living your best life. Not many Youtubers make use of the playlist feature on their channel, but she does. If you’re in the mood to watch inspirational videos or minimalism videos or journaling videos, she has playlists of her own videos for each type! If you’re looking for ways to change your life and live more meaningfully, then you need to start watching her videos!

MuchelleB – I just recently found her channel within the last week when one of her videos popped up on my homepage as a recommendation. Her channel is similar to Lavendaire, but it has a much more central focus on bettering yourself and becoming the best version of you. I love that a lot of her videos are short, sweet, and to the point compared to a lot of Youtubers who routinely have 10-20 minute videos. I recently made a playlist of her videos to listen to while I was driving to work and it was so nice to have the topic shift every five or six minutes. Her videos are honestly so calming and so incredibly helpful. At the beginning of this year, she did a “Simplify Your Life” challenge where she focused on a different area every day to help declutter your life, decide what you treasure in your life, and how to be more relaxed and stress free. I have not watched nearly as many videos of hers as I have the others on this list, but she deserved a mention because her video topics are such high quality! If you’re looking to expand your self-awareness and mellow out, I highly suggest exploring this channel!

 

I really hope you enjoyed reading about my favorite Youtube channels and why I like each of them so much! I hope that you find yourself enjoying their channels just as much as I do. Please comment and share some of your favorite channels for me to explore and enjoy!

 

With love,

Arianna

Each photo used came straight from each user’s respective Instagram. Please message me if you wish to have your photo removed. 

Before You Travel to Spain…

I was fortunate enough to be able to experience the most amazing culture with the help of my high school Spanish teacher. We went just weeks after my junior year ended and I can honestly say that it was the highlight of my high school career! The Spanish culture is entirely different from the United States and I loved every minute of it! I put together a list of everything I think you should know before you dive in!

Be ready to try new foods! Spain sits right on the Mediterranean so they have a variety of fresh caught seafood and an extensive amount of fruits! If you want to try a variety of foods at a decent price, make sure you visit a tapas bar or two. Basically, they have samples or small portions of plates that give you a chance to try lots of new things! We went to one in Madrid and I honestly have no idea what I actually ate, but I remember how amazing it tasted. If you go to a restaurant and have no idea what to order, get paella! It’s a rice dish that can come with a variety of meats and vegetables, but the best part are the traditional Spanish spices that go into it. It’s been a few years since I was there, but I’m still craving their traditional paella. If you’re a chocolate lover like I am, make sure you stop to get some churros con chocolate! You get a handful of churros with a small cup of melted chocolate sauce that taste like heaven in your mouth. When you’ve run out of churros, don’t throw away the left over chocolate. Make like the Spanish and drink it!

Revel in the artwork. If you’re anywhere near Barcelona, make sure you visit the art of Gaudi! Going to Parque Guell is an absolute MUST when you’re in Barcelona. The statues and mosaic artwork are just something you don’t see in the United States. There are so many good photo ops when you’re at the park and you even have a splendid overview of the city! A lot of travel guides will also tell you to visit the Sagrada Familia, which is a church that has been under construction since 1882 and is estimated to continue until around 2030. When you visit, make sure to take your time. There are so many details and things to look at. They even have small replicas of what the finished product should look like. This is yet another amazing work of Gaudi’s art. It’s so incredibly amazing to think that it’s been in construction for 135 years and still has another 10 or so until completion!

Take a break from public transportation. If you’re from a small town like I am, it’s such a cool thing to be able to ride the metro. Not many cities across the United States have a subway system, but it’s a staple in Spain. It’s nice when you’re tired after a long day of exploring and doing touristy things, but it’s not something you should do if your next destination isn’t that far away. Take the time to walk through the cities. I guarantee you’ll stumble upon some amazing opportunities for selfies. If you’re someone that’s really into architecture, I definitely recommend walking so you can admire their beautiful structures up close and personal.

Do NOT rush yourself through sight seeing! We had a week in Spain, three of which were spent in Madrid and three that were spent in Barcelona. The day in between was spent traveling on an eight hour bus ride from Madrid to Barcelona. We definitely didn’t have time to see everything but I wish we would have gotten the chance to spend more time at each location specifically. Even though I was young, I tried to really take in the beauty and the magic that it took to put the cities together so amazingly. Take the time to think of all of the people who have stood in the same spot looking at the same sight. If you’re walking from one destination to the next, don’t be afraid to take the less direct path. You’ll see the real Spain away from the tourism and you won’t regret it. Take photos of everything, but don’t live through your lens. It’s a whole new world in Spain and you don’t want to miss something because you were too absorbed in your phone or camera.

I hope these tips help you to plan out your future trip to Spain! If you’ve already been there, make sure you comment below and tell me all about your favorite things that you’ve done!

With love,

Arianna

Photographs obtained from stock photo websites Pexels, Unsplash , and Pixabay.